how do we manage it all?

An architect of sorts was under pressure to complete a set of drawings on time to meet a deadline. He was forced to devote four successive Sundays to the completion of this work. He had to isolate himself from the rest of his family which includes his wife and three children. His wife managed well for the first three weeks but on this fourth Sunday was in a fretful and irritable mood. He remained closeted in his room for the entire day. He was vaguely aware of his wife's feelings and from time to time would hear her lose her temper at the children. He fell asleep for a short time and had the following dream:

"I was calling the weather bureau to ask if the hurricane was expected to hit the city that afternoon. As I was asking the question I began to feel embarrassed and guilty. I awoke as I was trying to terminate the call."

He awoke with the dream in mind. He had a growing feeling of uneasiness with regard to the burden he was placing upon his wife, but felt that it was necessary and unavoidable. He associated the metaphor of the hurricane to the recurrent blasts of his wife's temper, particularly in view of the fact that if another hurricane were in reality to occur its name would have begun with the same initial as that of his wife's name. The incidental event precipitating the dream was the occasional sounds of his wife's quarrels with the children which reached his ears while he was intensely preoccupied with the work he was doing. The contradiction which was deepened and brought closer to full awareness was one arising from the discrepancy between the actual nature of his activity on the one hand - the arbitrary and absolute way in which he cut himself off from his family when under pressure - and the way in which this activity was reflected in consciousness - that this was simply a necessary but transitory interlude in his family life which the others owed it to him to countenance.

Owed or gifted? Managed or disabled? Where is the line and where is the beam? The more we try to do the right thing, the more we execute ourselves with criticism. This is when the flowers and the blue sky begin to have real meaning. Simplicity, escape, and purity. He will take some of that at some point.